


He loves me? He loves me not

by RecklessRegina



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - BDSM, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Clint Barton, Canon-Typical Violence, Cause I suck at writing, Collars, Deaf Clint Barton, Dom Phil Coulson, Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I think?, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Miscommunication, Out of Character, Phil Coulson Has the Patience of a Saint, Phil Needs a Hug, Sub Clint Barton
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:16:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29724744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RecklessRegina/pseuds/RecklessRegina
Summary: 5 times Phil considers/tries to ask Clint be his sub, to accept his collar.Aka Clint is clueless and Phil is a hot mess.And 1 time it's reversed.
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Comments: 1
Kudos: 48





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Finally I'm back. For some strange reason I can't write for months on end and them Boom! I write this in two day straight, like wtf.  
> First time doing d/s so feel free to tell me if the tags need to be changed. My experience in this area is lacking (glances at one other fic*)
> 
> Anyway without further ado, Enjoy!!!

**1**

Their target, a blond haired submissive according to half-true rumours and grainy pictures, stood backed up against the corner, bow grasped firmly but not drawn. Coulson watched tension wash over the subs body as he assessed the situation. His expression pinched, but not betraying any emotions as Hawkeye held his ground, not budging even when agents tried to herd him. 

“He’s is on the roof,” a voice confirmed. 

“Hold positions,” Coulson replied. They couldn’t have him escaping. 

This was the first real glimpse anyone got of the mysterious man. 

Coulson was not disappointed. He was beautiful. Like the kind Phil would ask to collar on the spot, before someone else could scoop them up. Coulson pursed his lips into a thin line. That would be highly inappropriate especially while on the job. But it wasn’t written inappropriate in four hours, when his shift ended. And to add the cherry on top, Hawkeye was in fact not wearing a collar, which meant that he was without a dominant and fair game. 

A small smile tugged at the corner of his lip. 

The words greatest marksman aka Hawkeye was finally theirs; Coulson was certain of it. Hawkeye was surrounded, SHEILD blocking every possible route of the apartment building, from the ground floor to the roof, preventing the man from escaping again. They had been tracking Hawkeye for months and if Coulson was being honest, like really honest. His job sucked. Well, the part with the unending chasing did. He was tired. The only thing that made the effort worth it was the sub, Hawkeye. 

SHEILD had always been so close, but not enough to snatch the sub just within their grasp. And Coulson would be totally lying if he said that stalking Hawkeye to hire him was the only thing driving him forwards, to keep Phil going. Hawkeye’s evasion initially peaked Phil’s interest, but now Phil only wanted to capture him, and maybe ask him out on a date. 

“SPREAD OUT,” Agent May shouted and came to a halt beside Agent Garrett. They spread out, forming a tight semi circle. 

“Wait!” Phil yelled. He willed the man to listen, eyes pleading at the man before him. 

Clint’s eyes flicker towards him, staring briefly, full of confusion and consideration until both eyes slid to the opposite end of the building. 

Coulson knew the sub cold hear him even though he avoided his gaze. 

“Coulson,” May urged from his right. 

“Wait” he repeated. The orders directed at May and Bobbi who flanked him. 

Phil heart thumped heavily in his chest. He could feel seconds tick by as he waited for the sub to come around. Reassurance lingered in the back of Phil’s mind. He knew his team would back him up if things went south, but who had Hawkeye’s back. 

Coulson felt a slight tinge of guilt when he caught the man’s eyes. He was alone, vulnerable and isolated. Something akin to fear, Phil himself knew too well, flicked bright across his eyes before they reverted back to a dull harsh blue. The sub broke contact in favour of looking down at deep plunge that loomed a foot or so past the edge of the roof. 

All it took was a few steps and the cycle would begin again. Almost instantly that thought yanked Phil out of his trance. The sub almost fooled him, but Phil should have known better, he should have known that the man was dangerous regardless of his soft eyes, rugged look and calm exterior. This wasn’t their first meeting like this and it wouldn’t be their last if Phil didn’t act fast. 

Coulson pushed the thoughts from his mind and inched forward with his gun raised. 

Everyone had their weapons drawn and aimed. Fear pooled in his stomach making his heart race. Not this time. He can’t let…. 

“Stand down,” he rasped. 

The order had left Coulson’s mouth before he could stop himself. Warily his team responded, one by one obeying his instructions. Hawkeye remained rigid and full of suspicion. 

“We’re not here to hurt you” 

_Yeah right,_ Clint thought and looked behind him, towards the edge of the building. 

“I just want to talk, can you at least hear me out” Coulson reasoned, his expression relaxed and inviting, but it was no use as the sub wasn’t even looking at him anymore. 

Judging by the seven stories drop and his equipment, Clint guessed he could hobble out of this shit alive if he jumped now, while people were distracted, mouths dropped open as the suit made desperate pleas. He had suffered worse than those nasty gashes decorating his right shoulder. All it took was five steps. 

“Bye” Clint didn’t intend for his voice to come out slurred. Giving one last snare their way he jumped. 

In a blur Coulson ended his train of thought by shooting him in the leg twice. Pain was nothing new to Clint. However, what took him by surprise was a middle-aged man hurtling towards like a manic. Phil heard a groan as they both landed on the hard concrete. His suit remained immaculate even when he knocked the sub to the ground. Wind whipped around then as they hung over the edge. 

“Bullshit-” This wasn’t how the famous Hawkeye would be brought in. Though Clint thought it wasn’t so bad when he caught sight of the man on top of him. The warm glow of the sun softening his features. 

“Get off me!” 

“No,” Phil growled back, voice oozing with dominance. 

“Here” 

“Wait. Please,” the man pinned beneath Coulson whined. Writhing in a one last desperate attempt, but it was too late, the cuffs were already in place. Secured firmly around his wrists. 

Clint could still escape. 

_He could_. That’s the though he was left when he met stormy blue eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” Coulson said. 

Clint froze, and searched the man’s face in question. He was certain he read those words right, he was never wrong, but why, why was the man sorry. They never were ‘sorry’ all they did was take. 

“I’m sorry” Coulson repeated. He rubbed Hawkeye’s wrist to ease the pain. Colson shifted his weight onto his arms, mindful of the bullet wounds as he called for medics. 

**2**

The long flight back to base had left everyone drained of their energy. Every agent, except Clint Barton who sat behind the steel table and glared right through Phil. Clint tried to stand but the restraints pulled him back down into the chair. 

“That’s bullshit! Absolut bullshit, and you know it” 

“But-” Clint cut him off. 

“No. My answer is _no_ ” 

“Are you sure?,” Sitwell interjected, “You mightn’t find another offer and between me and you, Coulson isn’t too bad. It’s only temporary” 

Clint’s eyebrows pulled together in a frown. “First you scare away my target. Mans gotta earn money somehow. Then you shoot me, which still fuckin hurts. And did I mention maybe ringing me. Maybe leave a dam note instead of stalking me like prey” 

“I had no choice. You were going to jump and who knows how long it would be till I caught sight of you again. On another note _you_ could have died” Phil said as though pointing out the obvious. His hands clenched with worry. 

Clint tied to jump up again, to strangle Phil, patience slipping as anger welled sharp and hot. The metal cuffs dug into his wrists, which burned like hell on his raw skin. Reminded of the restraints keeping him seated and digging into his hands, Clint sat back down. Clint narrowed his eyes at Phil. 

Coulson held his ground, face blank, contained, and the complete opposition of Clints. Barton stared up at him, challenging and daring him to come closer. 

“What the fuck does me being a sub have to my ability to do a job. I’ve been doing just _great_ by _myself_ for years now. I understand the need for a handler but I thought fancy guys like you in your crisp suits and expensive tech wouldn’t revert to backwards ways” 

“Clint,” Phil said, his tone softer, “I only suggested me being your dom because you seemed interested as well. But I, _we_ don’t have to. You can get another dom, but it’s pr -” 

“It’s protocol,” Agent Sitwell interrupted. 

Both Clint and Phil glared at him. Sitwell gulped and shrunk back into the shadows nearest him. 

“I don’t need a stupid dom to oversee me doing a dam job” Clint huffed in annoyance. If he rolled his eyes again, they might get stuck. _But hey anything was better than looking at the cold musty room._

Coulson wanted to walk around the table, close the distance between them and comfort the sub, but he didn’t know how. 

Phil pushed down his instincts to comfort, stepped away and backed up until the metal wall pressed into his back. Disbelief almost flickered across his face but he hid it well with a grimace. Phil has never reacted so strongly before, his instincts screaming at him to do something, anything but stand there like the useless dom he was. 

Coulson looked across at Clint who looked up and glared back. A squeezy feeling flooded Coulson, rising the hairs on his neck as fear and disbelief hammered through his core. 

_Say something._

He brain scramblers for coherent words. 

“We can arrange something, maybe Agent May or Garrett might suit you,” when Clint didn’t answer Phil continued, “it’s for your own good. Subs need a dom to look after them, you mightn’t realize it now but you will” 

Suddenly Clint straightened in the chair. 

“Fine whatever, just leave me alone,” Clint retorted. However this time his words held no bite. Clint didn’t bother responding even as both of them talked in hushed murmurs, he didn’t acknowledge Coulson as he tried to comfort him one last time with false promises. 

Agent Sitwell exited the interrogation room first and held the door open for Coulson to follow through. Phill turned towards the door to leave but stopped when Clint’s low voice filled the room. 

“You know if you just asked me, and not forced me into I may have considered it. Asked because you wanted it…me, and not for some protocol. I was even considering the date….,” Clint fell silent. His face twisted with something Phil couldn’t recognize as he stared into his hands. A pang of hurt shot through Phil causing his breath to hitch. 

Clint didn’t look up again until they both left. 

**3**

It was their first-year anniversary and Phil was nervous. He was going to ask Clint to be his, to accept his collar. 

Phil being nervous was the understatement of the century. He was fidgety which never happened. Ask anyone, even a low rank agent and they would tell you otherwise. 

“Good luck,” Fury said, with a knowing look as he walked past Coulson. 

Phil nodded, his lip twisting in a shy smile. Phil continued to walk towards Clint’s quarters on autopilot, his posture more tense than normal due to feelings he couldn’t describe swallowing him up. Their relationship was new, or more precisely, new in terms of being more than just friends. They’d dated, but this was new territory. 

When Phil reached the door, he knocked twice. After the second knock the door slid open slightly. He could hear Clint moving around inside so he pushed open the door and raised his voice to let the sub know he entered. 

Sleeping quarters within SHEILD were standard size and small, small enough that Clint spotted him almost immediately when Phil set foot inside the room. 

“Hey,” Clint greeted as Phil entered. 

“Hi,” Phil replied. 

“How are you” 

Clint picked up a stack of papers and looked underneath. 

“I hope your not to tired after last night?” 

“Me? Nah, never when it comes to you” Clint grinned brightly at Phil and crawled out from underneath the coffee table. “Although putting Garrett in his place didn’t help, but hey all ya have to do is feed me and I’m good to go” 

“Great…,” Phil drew in a deep breath. It was now or never. Luckily Clint had turned to grab something off the shelf, leaving the perfect opening for Phil to spill. All it took was a few words. Phil exhaled. “Clint so I’ve been thinking” 

“Phil can you pass me the stool” 

“Yeah here. Clint do you…. would you want to be my sub like officially? I bought you a collar and I hoping-,” he tried to keep the trembling from his voice as he reached to pull the collar from his suit pocket. Almost immediately Phil cringed at his poor choice of words. 

“What’s that Phil,” Clint asked, he tapped his ear in explanation as he turned to face Phil. “Didn’t hear” 

“Oh. Don’t worry about it,” Phil replied, smiling quickly and letting the collar fall back into his pocket. 

“Phil?” 

“Its nothing really,” Phil confessed, partly embarrassed. He could feel his face heat, filling to a flushed red. He turned to the side, keeping his voice even as he said, “you ready to go?” 

“Yeah just gottta find…here!” Clint said excitedly as picked up his key from between the couch. He picked up his hearing aids off the countertop and shoved them in his ear. 

“Reservations for six, right?” 

“Uhmm” Phil muttered, voice incoherent but message clear as Clint gave him a quick kiss on the lips. Phil pulled back, breath uneven and mirroring Clint. He pushed any and all thoughts of asking Clint to be _his_ to the back of his mind as he basked in his sub’s warmth and adoring smile. He could do it later, right? Clint wouldn’t mind, it wasn’t the end of the universe, even a small part of Coulson agreed. But another part chided that Coulson himself wasn’t ready yet either. 

Giving Clint one last peck on the lips, Phil pried the keys out of Clint’s hand and replaced it with his own. 

“Fuck that’s not fair” Clint whined and reached for the keys within Phil’s pocket” 

“Ah ah,” Phil raised one eyebrow. 

A warning. 

_“Sorry sir,”_ Clint said, and batted his eyelashes sweetly, knowing how to wrap Phil around his pinkie. 

“Your forgiven,” he pulled Clint beside him as he led them out the door, “but we’re taking Lola, you know how I’ll lose my grasp and then you’ll reverse over me” 

Clint chuckled, loudly as he shoved the door closed with his foot. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll post the next chapter on Sunday as I still have to proof the second half. However, if you have any suggestions please do share :D


	2. Chapter 2

**4**

Two years later Coulson felt more confident in his ability to ask Clint, the love of his life his simple question. One night after watching a movie Phil decided to broach the topic again. 

“Clint. I have something for you”. He held the collar in both hands, like an offering. It was a simple, black leather collar, thick but not too wide that it restricted head movement, and with his initials written in a glossy black finish. He had picked it because Coulson thought it would look beautiful on his sub. He also knew that Barton, being himself with his pride and reputation would like something simple, tasteful and not overly flashy. A rich purple lined the inside, a secret only they would know that was hidden in plain view. Phil’s thumb grazed the edge. He hoped Clint would accept it. 

“Will you, my love be mine. Will you be my sub?” 

“Clint?,” Phil asked worried. He had checked before talking that Clint had his hearing aids in, that he would hear Phil’s question, unlike the last time. “Clint dear” 

Coulson resisted the urge to roll his eyes to the moon and back. Clint had fallen asleep, head fallen to the side and little snores emanating from him, too low for Phil to hear over his worry. Phil kissed Clint goodnight before he took out Clint’s hearing aids and put both the aids and the collar away. 

Coulson climbed back onto the couch and curled into Clint, his mind drifted as he fell asleep beside Clint. 

Tomorrow he would ask. Tomorrow. 

**5**

Phil didn’t ask tomorrow, especially not after Sitwell and Clint prodded him on why he didn’t asked Clint to be his sub yet. Popping the question now would be too suspicious. 

He waited a week and a half. 

“Have you seen Barton?” 

“Yup, think he’s over with the newbies. Over there” 

“Thanks,” Coulson said, focused diverted when he spotted Clint stalking behind a table of agents. 

“Barton” 

Clint turned around to face him “Hey Coulson. What’s up” 

“Care to join me for coffee” He added, “in my office” when the sub began moving towards the cafeteria que. 

“ _Ok_ Boss,” Clint smirked and raised his eyebrow suggestively. “Right behind ya” 

Phil could already feel himself beginning to hyperventilate the closer they got to his their office. 

Coulson has planed everything to the T. What he wasn’t expecting was for Natasha aka The Black Widow to fall from the vents and land directly onto Clint’s shoulders. Her weight and volicty squashing Clint to the ground. 

“Ow,” Clint groaned. 

“Sorry little birdie” Natasha smiled innocently. “But two can play at that game” 

Phil frowned, eyes squinted into a disappointed glare. _Seriously_

“Nat,” Clint pleaded, "I don’t doubt you. Your skills in the vents are sharp as mine. Just. Please get off of me” 

“Fine,” Natasha huffed as Phil helped peel Clint off of the lino floor. “Whatcha got there” 

Natasha stretched past Phil to gawk into the office. She inhaled the heavenly smell of freshly made coffee. 

“Care to join,” Clint asked. 

And with those three words, bless his kind heart, Clint, soiled Phil’s strategically placed plans. 

**6**

“I’ll be down in the labs with Simmons, so just drop them down when you’re done” 

“No problem” 

“Wait!” 

“Can I have some?,” Clint asked sheepishly, reaching behind him to grab a cup. “Pretty please” 

On her way-out May poured the coffee into the cup until it almost overflowed, and threw the sugar sachets behind her as she exited past the him. Clint threw his hand back to grab it mid-air. 

Delighted, he ripped the package with his teeth, inhaling the aroma as he poured the sugary granules in. 

“Now - where’s the pizza?” 

Phil was too busy sorting through the stack of files to hear the tell-tale thud of something falling onto the ground of the Bus. 

Phil smiled fondly and dropped half the stack on the table. “You ate it. Remember” 

Clint stood up and glided over to pick up the fallen item. “No pretty sure that was the take out we g-” 

Clint turned the collar over in his hands, the weight light yet retaining a solid feel to it. He froze, chills prickling his whole self, as he stared at the unmistakable item in his palm; a sub collar – no Phil’s sub collar – his initials embossed, clear as daylight on the smooth surface. 

“Phil?,” Clint paused, eyes widening. “What’s this?” 

“Huh,” Phil asked still clueless. 

He turned away from the table and looked up. He didn’t know what could shock Clint to this extent. 

But he didn’t expect _this_. 

_Fuck._

Phil took a deep breath, pondering, assessing, then forcing himself to react. This wasn’t how it was ment to happen. He swallowed, visibly shaken as he took in Clint. 

Clint clutched the – Phil's – collar in both hands, expression filled with shock, silent terror glossing his pupils as though he made a mistake. 

“Your not….with…” Clint stuttered, before lunching into a plea, “I don’t get it?” 

He tanned skin flushed a splotchy pink as tears welled, threatening to slid down his cheek. Clint let the collar fall to the floor just like his hopes. 

“What? No!,” Phil’s heart cracked, splintering to pieces as Clint questioned reality. “I’m so sorry if anything made you think…” 

Phil rushed forward to pull Clint into a hug. He knew Clint’s past, and his history so this slip up was no excuse. Phil planted kisses everywhere, from his blond hair, forehead, ears and checks, right down to Clint’s lips, wiping away the fallen tears as he went. 

“You know I’ll never leave you. You’re everything to me,” Phil reassured as Clint hid his face in Phil’s shoulder. “I’ll choose you every time” He added, “If you’ll have me?” 

“Yeah,” Clint mumbled into his suit, sniffling one last time, he pulled back to gaze into Phil’s eyes through his tear filled ones. “Phil you are so clumsy” 

“So sorry dear,” he whispered as he cupped Clint face and kissed him again, gentle as always. 

“Mmfine” 

They hugged each other only stopping when Clint asked the million dollar question. 

“Why didn’t you ask sooner?” Phil leaned into Clint’s hand which had moved to caress him jaw. 

“You know I always meant it, even back then,” Phil said, letting his lip curl as he remembered years back, when they first met officially. 

“I know, I had a feeling but I wasn’t sure. You know with the interrogation and all” Clint grimaced. “The veiled truths, twisted to get me to spill. I had to be careful, even with you. Generally, doms aren’t _that_ relentless, _like you_ , especially towards _me_ so that’s why I didn’t wanna get my hopes up and all” 

“I get it. I would-” 

“But Phil,” Clint squeezed Phil’s neck lightly for emphasis, “I’m glad I did. I’m glad I waited” 

“I’m glad too” 

“Eh would you like me to,” Phil said. He picked up the collar and watched Clint, waiting patiently for his permission. Clint nodded. 

“Of course” 

Phil could hear the sharp inhale Clint tried to conceal; he waited a second longer for Clint’s reassurance. Everyone knew about Hawkeye’s aversion to collars, to authority, so he wanted to tread lightly. 

“It’s ok Phil,” Clint said, voice quiet in the empty room. He wanted this, Phil could tell, desire dancing in both eyes a dead giveaway. Clint shook himself of the fleeting worry, this wasn’t some random dom. This was his dom. 

Phil gazed into his twinkling eyes, conveying his true feelings to Clint, unguarded and honest; that he would do anything for Clint, just like Clint would do everything for him. 

Side by side. 

Forever. 

“It’s ok Phil,” he whispered, reassuring as he leaned forward and Phil clicked the collar in place. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll probably hash out another one of theses soon. Personally I don't think there's enough


End file.
